Gold Machine

The text of Infocom’s Hollywood Hijinx

Paratext and Worldbuilding

The pack-ins for Hollywood Hijinx include an issue of Tinsel World magazine, a leter from the protagonist’s Aunt Hildegard, and a postcard from Uncle Buddy. It’s a likable assortment. The copy protection doesn’t disrupt the reading experience, and the documents effectively evoke the mood of a b-movie about b-movies.

The pleasantly ludicrous magazine features black and white photographs and parodic advertisements. In one passage, it advises readers that “Dill pickles can add years to your life!” Elsewhere, in an article titled “Gerbil Terrorizes Gramps,” we read that “the crazed rodent sprang out and began racing wildly around the house, clawing and biting at curtains and furniture and severely maiming Mr. Veldran’s pet lizard.”

“Dill pickles can add years to your life!”

These are garnishes to the practical purpose of the magazine, as the current issue observes the recent passing of Aunt Hildegard and remembers her collaborator Buddy Burbank. Her passing is the inciting incident of Hollywood Hijinx. Her will (and Buddy’s before her) states that her entire and substantial estate will go to their favorite niece or nephew (the game never assigns a gender to the protagonist) if they can complete a treasure hunt in twelve hours. Other nieces and nephews will get their own chances, should the protagonist fail.

The magazine fills in details of the world and contextualizes Hollywood Hijinx‘s protagonist. It reviews—humorously—Buddy’s career as a studio owner and b-movie auteur. His body of work includes films like The Seven Dwarves Do Dallas and Buck Palace, the Fighting Mailman. We learn about the marriage between Buddy and “Hildy,” as well as their close relationships with their nieces and nephews.

Hollywood Hijinx is the very rare Infocom game that makes a substantial investment in the backstory of its protagonist. Many Infocom characters have undeveloped backgrounds, as this series demonstrates. Moonmist‘s detective is a “famous” sleuth, for example, but we are arguably meant to fill in the blanks with whatever we know about Nancy Drew. The precocious inventor of Seastalker doesn’t have a story so much as they do a resume. Only Infidel makes this kind of commitment to background and character, and, as we will see, the playable game itself performs even more of this work.

Hollywood Hijinx is the very rare Infocom game that makes a substantial investment in the backstory of its protagonist.

Both the postcard and letter illuminate the relationships between the main character, Hildy, and Buddy. Both are addressed to the protagonist, and their authors obviously care for our avatar. The postcard consists of a rather ridiculous series of heroic couplets exhorting the player to learn from the examples set by characters in Buddy’s films. It additionally serves as copy protection, and those clues blend in well with the poem it contains.

The letter from Hildegard provides the main dramatic question of Hollywood Hijinx. It establishes the stakes, that of a treasure hunt in which the rewards are all-or-nothing. The letter further details the goal and rules of the hunt. Hildy’s voice is distinct and gives insight into who she was and how she feels about the protagonist.

Considering the thing in total, it is clear that the paratext of Hollywood Hijinx is excellent because every element extends our understanding of the game’s world both in terms of history and geography. I have always said that the best feelies are essential to the text of their games, though few cases truly achieve this ideal. While I always suggest that players read all Infocom pack-ins, I do so here with extra emphasis.

The Treasure Hunt

Despite—or because of—the frontloaded vividness of its setting, Hollywood Hijinx sometimes feels like a loose bag of puzzles. That isn’t necessarily a problem. The wacky nature of the house and its former inhabitants mandate a certain level of incoherence. Critiques of mimetic infidelity neither can nor should apply here. If we find ourselves moving from computer punch cards to fireproof matches to an automaton “atomic chihuahua,” so be it!

The wacky nature of the house and its former inhabitants mandate a certain level of incoherence.

My critique of the puzzles is that they don’t all lean into the zaniness enough. While the casual relationships between puzzle elements feel fitting, as a player I would have enjoyed more puzzles embracing the wacky nature of Buddy’s career. That’s what makes the atomic chihuahua puzzle stand out as the game’s best: we are, for a moment, inhabiting a world of Buddy’s imagining.

>east
The Atomic Chihuahua, in its best prehistoric prance, moves further east, then comes to a stop.

The Atomic Chihuahua continues to take hits from the tiny tanks. The planes, only a block away, begin firing as they move within range. As bullets pierce the dazed dog's scales he pauses momentarily, remembering his younger days with Xavier Cugat.

>push black
The Atomic Chihuahua lifts its hind leg and, just as you thought this game was going to become even more base, stomps its clawed foot down on one of the tiny tanks, crushing it.

The Atomic Chihuahua continues to take hits from the tiny tank. The planes, spewing bullet-shaped death, reach the radioactive reptile and begin circling around it. The Atomic Chihuahua takes two rounds in the throat and gasps. (Two rounds to you and me, but that's 14 rounds to little scale-face!)

The scene, we realize, is a riff on old Godzilla films.

Compare this to a more generic widget puzzle that could easily appear in any game.

>south
Closet
You're in a small closet. Mounted at an angle on the back wall of the closet are three coat pegs. To the left of the first peg there is a hole the size of a peg. To the right of the third peg there is a peg which has been sawed-off, flush with the wall. The door to the north is open.

>push first peg
You pull the peg down to a horizontal position.

As you release the peg, it pops back into its original 45-degree position. The closet begins to shake and rattle a bit as the door swings shut. You feel your stomach rising to your throat as the closet moves down, then stops.

Elsewhere, a genuinely unpleasant hedge maze puzzle, which could easily be dropped via helicopter into countless other games, will likely frustrate and annoy many. Procrastinators will be rewarded by a map that can only be constructed later in the game.

Such puzzles are never bad as puzzles in isolation, and many players will like them quite well, but in many cases we find an out-of-place dryness that falls short of the highs of game and feelies alike.

The most notable feature of the game’s text is a recurring emphasis on the protagonist’s history with the house, Buddy, and Hildy. A later essay will discuss this element in depth, but for now I call attention to Hollywood Hijinx‘s remarkable commitment to worldbuilding and character development. The practice dovetails incredibly well with the feelies themselves. Some—myself included—might overlook this practice because of the unsubtle silliness of the work, but Hollywood Hijinx makes novel moves in terms of craft and narrative.

While it will likely retain its reputation as a lesser work, we see here a game that does what other Infocom games have not yet done, and in this, its detractors must concede, Hollywood Hijinx excels.

Next

The Gold Machine treatment of Hollywood Hijinx concludes with a(n) (a)typical treatment of themes, context, and reception. Don’t miss it!